100 Word Challenge – Treasure
The prompt for this week’s 100 Word challenge is “treasures”. Visit Velvet Verbosity to see other wonderful entries to this and past challenges.
The woman gently blows dust from the book as her daughter watched in quiet anticipation. They snuggled onto the couch and she slowly opened the cover, pointing to the first picture. “This is your Grandma.” The little girl sighs with awe “She was so pretty Mama.” The woman smiles pointing to the next “And that’s your Grandpa.” The little girl giggles. “He has hair!” They move through the book, each page a tribute to the long happy life. The little girl stands admiring the other binders lining the shelf. “Are these more treasures?” The mother nodded, tears in her eyes.
Velvet Verbosity said,
July 30, 2008 at 3:16 pm
Touching story! Family is such a treasure.
I haven’t gotten much into critiquing since I’ve felt I just wanted to allow people to share, but I’m thinking that we will all be better writers if we offer some critiques as well. With that in mind, I would recommend that you pay attention to tense and punctuation. Changing tenses and punctuation problems around quotes detract from an otherwise moving piece with sweet imagery.
Looking forward to more contributions.